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Shadow Work: The Part Everyone Avoids (And Exactly Why You Need It)
Monday, December 22, 2025
Shadow work. That’s the topic today.
I feel called to write about this because, honestly, this is one of the most neglected aspects of personal and spiritual development that I see — especially among religious people and “love and light” practitioners. From my experience talking to many people, guiding others, and observing behaviour patterns, most people actively avoid shadow work. And the reason is usually very simple: they’re afraid of it.
To many people (especially those raised in religious or moralistic systems), anything labelled “shadow”, “dark”, or “uncomfortable” is automatically seen as harmful, sinful, or corrupting. Which is deeply ironic to me, haha. Because shadow work, if anything, is one of the most necessary processes a person can go through if they want to become emotionally mature, self-aware, empowered, and whole.
But of course, shadow work is taboo. It doesn’t feel holy. It doesn’t feel pleasant. And it definitely doesn’t let you pretend you’re perfect (it is not supposed to). So people avoid it.
What Is Shadow Work?
Shadow work is the process of becoming aware of, facing, understanding, and integrating the parts of yourself that you’ve repressed, denied, avoided, or disowned.
These “shadow” aspects can include: - Anger
- Jealousy
- Envy
- Shame
- Sexual impulses
- Fear
- Control issues
- Abandonment wounds
- Need for validation
- Resentment
- Power fantasies
- Emotional dependency
- Rage
- Grief
- Guilt
But, to me, the shadow isn’t evil; it’s just unacknowledged.
Most shadows are formed because: - you were punished for expressing certain emotions
- you were taught certain traits were “bad”
- you learned that love was conditional
- you had to suppress parts of yourself to survive
So instead of disappearing, those traits went underground. Shadow work is not about indulging these parts blindly, but it’s about bringing them into consciousness, so they stop running your life from behind the scenes.
How Do You Actually Do Shadow Work?
This is where people get stuck — because shadow work is not aesthetic, not glamorous, and not something you “finish”. It’s something ongoing!
Below are real, practical ways shadow work shows up — with examples (so you would actually understand and DO it)!
1. Notice Emotional Triggers (This Is the Entry Point)
Your shadow reveals itself through reactions, not thoughts. Ask yourself: - What pisses me off disproportionately?
- Who do I judge harshly?
- What behaviour in others makes me feel disgusted or superior?
- When do I feel abandoned, rejected, or invisible?
Example (relationships):
If someone not replying makes you spiral, the shadow isn’t “they’re rude”. The shadow is abandonment fear, need for reassurance, or self-worth tied to attention.
Example (friendships):
If you feel intense resentment when a friend succeeds, the shadow isn’t “they’re annoying”. It’s envy, comparison wounds, or fear of being left behind.
2. Sit With Discomfort Instead of Spiritual Bypassing
Shadow work requires you to stay present with emotions instead of immediately fixing, rationalising, or spiritually reframing them.
Not:
“Everything happens for a reason.”
But:
“Why does this hurt so much?”
Not:
“I’m healed already.”
But:
“Why am I reacting like this again?”
Example (family):
If you feel irrational rage toward a parent, shadow work is not “forgive and forget”.
It’s asking: - What did I never get?
- What boundary was violated?
- What emotion was never allowed?
Remember, forgiveness comes after understanding, not before!
3. Identify Patterns, Not Just Events
Shadow work is about patterns. Ask yourself: - Why does this keep happening to me?
- Why do I attract the same dynamic repeatedly?
- Why do I always end up in the same emotional role?
Example (romantic relationships):
If you keep attracting emotionally unavailable partners, the shadow may involve: - fear of intimacy
- belief that love must be earned
- comfort in emotional chaos
- subconscious self-abandonment
Shadow work asks:
“What part of me feels familiar in this pain?”
4. Take Radical Self-Honesty Seriously
This is where most people quit. Shadow work requires admitting things like: “I like control.” “I enjoy being desired.” “I fear being ordinary.” “I use spirituality to avoid accountability.” “I manipulate with silence.” “I like feeling superior sometimes.”
Admitting this doesn’t make you bad, AND! Pretending it’s not there makes it dangerous. What you don’t own, owns you. :)
5. Integrate — Don’t Suppress, Don’t Act Out
Integration means: - acknowledging the impulse
- understanding its origin
- choosing how it is expressed consciously
Example (anger):
Integration is not screaming at people. It’s learning boundaries, assertiveness, and self-respect.
Example (sexual energy):
Integration is not “being sexual all the time”. It’s understanding desire, power dynamics, intimacy, and agency without shame or compulsion.
Example (power):
Integration is not domination for ego. It’s leadership, discernment, and responsibility.
Shadow Work Misconceptions
This part matters, because shadow work is widely misunderstood. Shadow work is NOT: - becoming cruel
- indulging every impulse
- “embracing toxicity” (this one is funny because too many so-called "LHP occultists" do this)
- acting without accountability
- using trauma as an excuse
- being edgy for the sake of it
Facing your shadow does not mean you get to hurt people, you abandon ethics, you stop caring about consequences
Shadow work is about conscious choice, not chaos.
A common misconception I see:
People think integrating shadow = being hypersexual, aggressive, ruthless, or emotionally detached.
No...
That’s just unintegrated shadow acting out.
Why Shadow Work Is Essential
Without shadow work, your spirituality becomes performative, your ego disguises itself as enlightenment, your trauma runs your decisions, your “power” is fragile and reactive, and your relationships stay dysfunctional
Shadow work: - increases emotional intelligence
- builds real sovereignty
- strengthens boundaries
- prevents projection
- deepens self-respect
- makes your magick more grounded and effective
You cannot manifest clearly if your unconscious is sabotaging you. You cannot walk any serious path (especially darker or LHP currents) while refusing to look at yourself honestly.
Conclusion
To me, as someone who works heavily with darker currents and deeper transformative forces, I do not believe real growth is possible without shadow work. Not surface-level journaling. Not aesthetic darkness. DEFINITELY not spiritual cosplay (somehow, I see so many people do this). But real, uncomfortable, honest inner work. Understanding your shadow, and with that, you need to be facing it, learning from it, and integrating it. This is not optional.
Shadow work doesn’t make you weaker, but it makes you REAL, STRONG, AND SOVEREIGN.
And real power comes from wholeness, not denial!
♡ Ariela
Thank you for reading! Blessed be xx
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★ About the Priestess
Thank you for visiting my blog!
Hello, lovelies x
I am High Priestess Ariela. This title is recognised by the Sovereigns of Heaven and Hell.
I was ascended to High Priestess by my mentor, High Priestess Cecilia in April 2020, by Queen Lilith, the Mother of Demons, in January 2022 and by Duke Bune, my Godspouse, in November 2023.
I am a proud Malaysian-based witchcraft practitioner, and I am in my 30s and I currently reside in Penang, and although I was born in Kuala Lumpur, I love the peace and quietness here compared to the congested city of Kuala Lumpur.
I have officially been practising witchcraft and divination for a little more than 10 years now. However, I have always been interested in witchcraft since I was a little kid. I started developing my intuition as early as 6 years old, and learning/reading books on witchcraft when I was 10. My ancestors were shamans and spiritual healers so I am happy to continue this lineage. I have always been an intuitive person since I was a kid, being able to feel empathy and being able to communicate with the spirits since I was a kid.
My Witchcraft Journey
I studied witchcraft for many years before I started practising, roughly from the beginning of 2016 until now. I had previously worked in a coven and received lessons from an old friend who was also a High Priestess. I have also studied with them, and have performed mass rituals. I climbed through the ranks and have finally ascended to the rank of High Priestess myself. I am a heavy ritualist.
I am passionate about what I do and I intend to help people heal, just like how I healed from practising witchcraft. Contrary to popular belief, most witches do more healing than cursing. So, I am also here trying to change that mindset that people have, thinking that practitioners of magick are mostly bad.
I am currently going through the trials of the Tree of Qliphoth (Tree of Death). I initiated into the Qliphoth in January 2024 after being advised by Lord Lucifer and Lady Astaroth.
My Practices
• Qliphothic Left-Hand Path
• Demonolatry
• Dark Magick
• Forbidden Arts
• Necromancy
• Chaos Magick
• White Magick
• Moon Magick
• Fire and Water Magick
• Sympathetic Magick (poppets)
I am devoted to 5 infernal deities and 1 archangel for now.
My Spirit Allies
Infernal Deities
• Duke Bune
• King Belial
• Emperor Lucifer
• Earl Andromalius
• Duke Dantalion
I am spoused to Duke Bune, Earl Andromalius and King Belial.
Archangel
• Metatron
Outside the real world, I work in a multinational company (MNC). I am super passionate about what I do, both my full-time job and my side hustle.
I am also passionate about crystals, divination, and spiritual stuff. I have a large altar full of small, medium and big-sized crystals dedicated to my meditation time and also my devotion to my deities.
My Abilities/Gifts as a Witch
As a Witch, I am blessed with the following abilities:
• Energy Medicine and Energy Channelling (ancestral gifts)
• Prophecy Dreams/Visions
• Astral Projection
• Mediumship
• Witnessing (being visited by spiritual beings/deities/demonic deities)
• Claircognizance
• Clairvoyance
• Clairsentience
• Clairaudience
• Clairalience
• Divination
• Precognitions/Premonitions
• Telepathy with Humans
///High Priestess Ariela™
Shadow Work: The Part Everyone Avoids (And Exactly Why You Need It)
Monday, December 22, 2025
Shadow work. That’s the topic today.
I feel called to write about this because, honestly, this is one of the most neglected aspects of personal and spiritual development that I see — especially among religious people and “love and light” practitioners. From my experience talking to many people, guiding others, and observing behaviour patterns, most people actively avoid shadow work. And the reason is usually very simple: they’re afraid of it.
To many people (especially those raised in religious or moralistic systems), anything labelled “shadow”, “dark”, or “uncomfortable” is automatically seen as harmful, sinful, or corrupting. Which is deeply ironic to me, haha. Because shadow work, if anything, is one of the most necessary processes a person can go through if they want to become emotionally mature, self-aware, empowered, and whole.
But of course, shadow work is taboo. It doesn’t feel holy. It doesn’t feel pleasant. And it definitely doesn’t let you pretend you’re perfect (it is not supposed to). So people avoid it.
What Is Shadow Work?
Shadow work is the process of becoming aware of, facing, understanding, and integrating the parts of yourself that you’ve repressed, denied, avoided, or disowned.
These “shadow” aspects can include: - Anger
- Jealousy
- Envy
- Shame
- Sexual impulses
- Fear
- Control issues
- Abandonment wounds
- Need for validation
- Resentment
- Power fantasies
- Emotional dependency
- Rage
- Grief
- Guilt
But, to me, the shadow isn’t evil; it’s just unacknowledged.
Most shadows are formed because: - you were punished for expressing certain emotions
- you were taught certain traits were “bad”
- you learned that love was conditional
- you had to suppress parts of yourself to survive
So instead of disappearing, those traits went underground. Shadow work is not about indulging these parts blindly, but it’s about bringing them into consciousness, so they stop running your life from behind the scenes.
How Do You Actually Do Shadow Work?
This is where people get stuck — because shadow work is not aesthetic, not glamorous, and not something you “finish”. It’s something ongoing!
Below are real, practical ways shadow work shows up — with examples (so you would actually understand and DO it)!
1. Notice Emotional Triggers (This Is the Entry Point)
Your shadow reveals itself through reactions, not thoughts. Ask yourself: - What pisses me off disproportionately?
- Who do I judge harshly?
- What behaviour in others makes me feel disgusted or superior?
- When do I feel abandoned, rejected, or invisible?
Example (relationships):
If someone not replying makes you spiral, the shadow isn’t “they’re rude”. The shadow is abandonment fear, need for reassurance, or self-worth tied to attention.
Example (friendships):
If you feel intense resentment when a friend succeeds, the shadow isn’t “they’re annoying”. It’s envy, comparison wounds, or fear of being left behind.
2. Sit With Discomfort Instead of Spiritual Bypassing
Shadow work requires you to stay present with emotions instead of immediately fixing, rationalising, or spiritually reframing them.
Not:
“Everything happens for a reason.”
But:
“Why does this hurt so much?”
Not:
“I’m healed already.”
But:
“Why am I reacting like this again?”
Example (family):
If you feel irrational rage toward a parent, shadow work is not “forgive and forget”.
It’s asking: - What did I never get?
- What boundary was violated?
- What emotion was never allowed?
Remember, forgiveness comes after understanding, not before!
3. Identify Patterns, Not Just Events
Shadow work is about patterns. Ask yourself: - Why does this keep happening to me?
- Why do I attract the same dynamic repeatedly?
- Why do I always end up in the same emotional role?
Example (romantic relationships):
If you keep attracting emotionally unavailable partners, the shadow may involve: - fear of intimacy
- belief that love must be earned
- comfort in emotional chaos
- subconscious self-abandonment
Shadow work asks:
“What part of me feels familiar in this pain?”
4. Take Radical Self-Honesty Seriously
This is where most people quit. Shadow work requires admitting things like: “I like control.” “I enjoy being desired.” “I fear being ordinary.” “I use spirituality to avoid accountability.” “I manipulate with silence.” “I like feeling superior sometimes.”
Admitting this doesn’t make you bad, AND! Pretending it’s not there makes it dangerous. What you don’t own, owns you. :)
5. Integrate — Don’t Suppress, Don’t Act Out
Integration means: - acknowledging the impulse
- understanding its origin
- choosing how it is expressed consciously
Example (anger):
Integration is not screaming at people. It’s learning boundaries, assertiveness, and self-respect.
Example (sexual energy):
Integration is not “being sexual all the time”. It’s understanding desire, power dynamics, intimacy, and agency without shame or compulsion.
Example (power):
Integration is not domination for ego. It’s leadership, discernment, and responsibility.
Shadow Work Misconceptions
This part matters, because shadow work is widely misunderstood. Shadow work is NOT: - becoming cruel
- indulging every impulse
- “embracing toxicity” (this one is funny because too many so-called "LHP occultists" do this)
- acting without accountability
- using trauma as an excuse
- being edgy for the sake of it
Facing your shadow does not mean you get to hurt people, you abandon ethics, you stop caring about consequences
Shadow work is about conscious choice, not chaos.
A common misconception I see:
People think integrating shadow = being hypersexual, aggressive, ruthless, or emotionally detached.
No...
That’s just unintegrated shadow acting out.
Why Shadow Work Is Essential
Without shadow work, your spirituality becomes performative, your ego disguises itself as enlightenment, your trauma runs your decisions, your “power” is fragile and reactive, and your relationships stay dysfunctional
Shadow work: - increases emotional intelligence
- builds real sovereignty
- strengthens boundaries
- prevents projection
- deepens self-respect
- makes your magick more grounded and effective
You cannot manifest clearly if your unconscious is sabotaging you. You cannot walk any serious path (especially darker or LHP currents) while refusing to look at yourself honestly.
Conclusion
To me, as someone who works heavily with darker currents and deeper transformative forces, I do not believe real growth is possible without shadow work. Not surface-level journaling. Not aesthetic darkness. DEFINITELY not spiritual cosplay (somehow, I see so many people do this). But real, uncomfortable, honest inner work. Understanding your shadow, and with that, you need to be facing it, learning from it, and integrating it. This is not optional.
Shadow work doesn’t make you weaker, but it makes you REAL, STRONG, AND SOVEREIGN.
And real power comes from wholeness, not denial!
♡ Ariela
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